You work out of a Hotel?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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