absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
