So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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