real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
