I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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