R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
