Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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