Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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