Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
