i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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