WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
