Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
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I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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