the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
