i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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