I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
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We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize