I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
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My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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