guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
