That's intense
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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