I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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