I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize