We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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