Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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