If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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