Please, let me fuck your mom
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
