come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
