At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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