Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Randomize
