Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
