I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Found your dick twin last night
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Randomize
