Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize