let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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