I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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