in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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