their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
