Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We named our party play list daddy issues
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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