Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize