My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
