and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
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i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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