how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same