Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."