just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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