he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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