I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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