I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
