she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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