i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
