I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize