yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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