my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
