The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
She said her name was "party"
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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