One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
