I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
