I am puke
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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