i think i have herpe
just one?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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