Where did you get a picture of my penis
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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