One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
